Hercules & Xena: the Battle for Mount Olympus

Universal fails miserably.

Features the voices of: Kevin Sorbo, Lucy Lawless, Renee O'Connor, MIchael Hurst
Director: Lynn Naylor
I'll admit it: I get a bang out of Xena: Warrior Princess. Who wouldn't? Compared to the other shows from the fantasy realm, mainly the Trek Drecks, Xena and (to a lesser extent) Hercules stack up pretty well. After all, Xena has:
  • Lawless, who's not only babe-o-riffic, but can act well, especially when given how the show careens from flatout comedy to bloodthirsty dramatics.
    Trek Dreck counterpoint: actors whom couldn't act their ways out of paper bags. Notice Voyager's desperation at ratings by casting a superlooker, Jeri Ryan, who's costume maximizes the viewing of her breathtaking assets, as a last-ditch effort to improve their ratings.
  • A premise which is wide open for buku stories.
    Trek Dreck counterpoint: The 24th century has been done to death.
  • Characters which experience growth, not only Xena, but Gabrielle and Joxtur as well.
    Trek Dreck counterpoint: Same whining and crabbing at each other.
  • Xena's growth is one of redemption for her past deeds, which is satisfying from a moral/ethical standpoint.
    Trek Dreck counterpoint: Janeway and Sisko do the same old boring "leading" of their respective tribes ad infinitum.
  • The scripts are frequently wittier than anything else on TV.
    Trek Dreck counterpoint: How many times can you say, "Reconfigure the main deflector array" and mean it? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

    Given Xena/Hercules' advantages over Trek, I've gone from Trekker to Xenite. So with the Battle for Mount Olympus available from the closest Wal-Mart, I had to pick up a copy buku quick.

    Whoooooo boy. One does not expect Disney-level motion picture animation with these DTV animated movies, but there should be something of merit. After all, Warner Brothers produced the Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (which was meant for DTV) and did a bangup job of it. All- powerful Disney has done well in the DTV market with tapes such as The Return of Jafar. And now it's Universal's turn.

    It's like this: The Battle for Mount Olympus is so terrible that everyone associated with its production should be banned from any futher involvement with any other animated projects. It's so bad, it's a jaw-dropper.

    The list is endless:

  • Hercules and Xena are rendered in Neanderthal-browed crudeness.
  • The animation is so jerky I'd say it was done one-of-four. (Only every fourth frame has movement.)
  • The story is so trite that it threatens to blow away like a leaf.
  • The story has zero Xena/Hercules wit.
  • Unlike nearly any cartoon you can mention, (especially when compared to the Batman/Superman cartoons), the look has no style whatsoever.
  • The drawings are nearly always done with a flat, medium shot scene framing.
  • The backgrounds are nothing more than artless splotches of paint.
  • If one subtracted the interminable battles and piss-poor musical numbers, one would be left with 10 minutes of "movie".
  • The music and songs will grate your ears to no end. (Exception: music lifted directly from Xena and Lawless comports herself well with her song.) The Titans' song is among the worst ever that I have had the displeasure of suffering thru. So have your finger ready on the fast forward button if you should torture yourself anyway.
  • A giant-sized character conveniently change size whenever it fits the "story" to further insult the viewer's intelligence.
  • I could go on and on, but this is the gist of it.

    The only person who should buy/rent this treacle is a Xena/Hercules completist. Prepare to the disappointed the max.

    Movie's suitability for:

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