Jurassic Park III

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Features: Sam Neil, William Macy, Tea Leoni
Director: Joe Johnston
written: July '01
I'll say this much, Jurassic Park III doesn't suffer from the plot holes which The Lost World (JPII) was Swiss cheesed.

That's because you have to have a "plot" in order to be afflicted with holes.

Johnston said on eonline.com that five weeks prior to shooting, there was no script. And if you stay for the credits, you learn that three men "wrote" JPIII's screenplay.

And on top of that, they have the ignominy of their "screenplay" being very similar to the Skull Island section of the true classic King Kong. Both movies have:

  • People landing on an island.
  • Who have to rescue someone.
  • A fight between a T Rex and another big critter.
  • A pterodactyl scooping off a human.
  • A rescue from the abducting critter's lair.
  • Various equivalents to Star Trek's "red shirts" getting killed by dinos.
  • And the survivors getting their dumb asses off the island.

    "Dumb asses" because repeatedly the humans show all the brain power of amoebas while the velociraptors demonstrate their trap-springing savvy.

    People told me that JP3 was "created" to basically be a dino showcase. OK, fine. Here's a novel suggestion: if you want dinos, why not make a movie based only around dinos. (And I'm referring to dinos portrayed as dinos, not going the Disney Dinosaur utter-idiocy route and portray the dinos as wussy-ass, let's-all-work-together humans in dino drag. (What the Hell were they thinking?))

    Sam Neil reprises his role from JP1. Laura Dern also has a part, but it's a near cameo while Tea Leoni plays the island-side version of Dern screaming her lungs out. William Macy plays Leoni's husband, which is the most science-fictiony aspect of the movie--how a dweeb such as him could land such a trophy wife. (And he doesn't play a millionaire.)

    While the movie is tissue-thin with its "plot", I will say this much: the dino F/X are absolutely, totally astonishing. The previous JP's had cutting edge F/X's for their time, this movie raises the believability bar again. Between Stan Winston's mechanical creatures and the computer rendered critters, you do believe that the dinos are real. The suspension of disbelief is complete.

    Whomever animated the fight between the T Rex and the "sailback" deserves special kudos. How the creatures twist and turn as they try to slash and kill each other has to be utterly the same as if there was someone who time-traveled and caught the fight on their camcorder. It is that astonishing.

    So it's like this: if all you care about is dinos kicking ass, then go. If you feel there to should be more to a movie, such as a genuine plot, then don't.

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